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the joesnake has moved!

Moved my blog to here: http://neonets.org/blog/joesnake

Ahem.

 

Very cool news to report. I got married. I got a new job. I got a new apartment. Basically, I got a new everything. There's alot to talk about. I'm back, better than ever, and will be writing about it again.

I was watching Sporanos the other day at my parent's house. The Sopranos is one of my favorite shows and luckily because my parents have HBO On Demand, I can catch up with the latest season. Usually, I'll watch upstairs in my room, but I was watching downstairs as my mom was making dinner. 

I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your parents, but some things will always be akward for me to watch with my parents. Add Sopranos to the list. Usually, during any given episode there is a chance you will see some violence, a killing, use of profanity, and the quick falsh of boobs HBO likes to throw in every once in awhile. Sometimes, you won't see any of this in an episode. I should have known, however, that the episode I chose to watch that day would have multiple acts of violence, a clinic on the use of the "F" word, some gay bashing, mutiple visits to the "Bada Bing" or the strip club the gang hangs out in, and a scene where Christopher plays "Motorboat" (<that's a "Wedding Crashers" reference) with a prostitute.

So, akward. My Mom made a comment near the end of the episode, just as Artie Buco was beating up Benny for stealing credit card numbers from his customers. She said something along the lines of "I never liked this show or saw it's appeal. It's just a bunch of people who don't know how to deal with their problems".

Now, it's not that I disagree with my mom. She's right. To me, the appeal of Sopranos is the problems that Tony is trying to deal with. Anyway, I guess my point is, isn't almost every show ever about people with problems that don't know how to deal with them properly? Isn't that life? Most people have tons of problems and don't seem to have the answers either. Tv and movies today, although entertaining as ever, present a world view that's untrue and unrealistic or pretty depressing. People are buying into it too. I see it at work, everywhere. Guys are supposed to talk about sports, beer, and women in addition to giving recaps of their weekends every Monday. Just like they do on TV. Anything else seems to be off limits.

At least Sopranos presents the problems that the characters deal with after they make horrible life choices. Gee, Tony you mean to tell me that your marriage and family aren't doing too well after you cheated or your wife and killed that guy? Not Surprising.

Then, there are shows out there like "Friends" or "Will and Grace" that just present this crappy way of relating to each other. Let's have a friendship based on witty remarks and put downs, but it the end "I'll be there for you!" Shows like this present people making bad choices, their friends never seeming to care enough to stop them, then in the end everything turns out OK and it's time for a new episode next week. Any hurt or drama caused this week is OK by the end of the show beacause good "Friends" are all you need.

So, last Friday we had high school bible study AKA "WORD" for those in the know. I've taken up the duty of planning and organizing the activity for this event, which we hold every other week. For some time now, I thought it would be really cool to have an activity that revolves around all the cheesy activities you'd do at a field day when you were a little kid in grade school. I call my brainchild "field day Day" because it's a day of field day activities. Those that have no sense of humor have already had trouble with a title that has two DAYS in it, but I like the name.

First, let me clarify and say that it no way do I believe field day to be cheesy. In fact, it's probably one of the most awesome days of a child's scholastic career and one of the most memorable. In my school career, it's only surpassed by a few extraoridinary days, like the famous Bedford Chemical Spill- which was really a week of no school. So, what could be better than getting together with friends and playing games like "the 3 legged race" and "the egg toss" on a Friday night? Not a whole lot.

Usually, the standard I set for myself when I'm doing a job is would I be happy with/ like this/ impressed by this? This Standard rarely fails me- if I please myself, I seem to please others, often going a little overboard. With detailing cars, I'm anal so I know if I judge the car by wether or not I'd be happy with the job if it were my car, I'm good. I bring this up because with an activity like Field Day Day, I knew I'd have a blast doing it.

That said, I was still a little nervous about how an activity we'd never done would go over with 20 some fickle high schoolers. These high schoolers are notorious for naysaying and pessimism when it comes to having fun or new ideas about having fun. I still say rule number one of having a good time is making up your own mind you'll have a good time.

When the bible teaching ended and the field day started, it was clear kids were having a pretty good time. I was having to yell to explain things to them, but other than that  most were getting really into events like "The Shoe Kick", "Konockout Basketball", and "Thumbwrestling".

Then came an event that will forever live on in "WORD" lore and infamy. I designed the "Pop Drink Off" with hilarious results in mind. The event was simple. Pit two competitors from the opposing teams against one another. Give them each a 2 liter bottle of pop. The first one to drink all the pop wins, unless of course the other competitor gives up or throws up.

Two good friends, Steven and Jeff decided to step up for their teams. There they were both standing face to face on opposite sides of a table. Mind you, this was in a dimly lit warehouse, so it was looking pretty freaking tough. Kids were huddled around the two soda guzzlers, cheering their brains out. Things were going well until each got about halfway done with their 2 liter. There was burping and a few "Man, this is alot of pop" looks. Even still, both young men were giving each other some serious "I'm going to win" faces. Then, with almost no warning at all, Steven's expression turned from serious game face to projectile puking all over Jeff's shirt and pants. The crowd of kids cheering them on parted like the red sea.

Two kids standing face to face, drinking some serious pop. One kid, pushed to the brink, pukes exorcist style all over the other. I couldn't have planned a better Field Day Day if I tried.

Yes, the events did resume after a brief TV timeout to clean up the puke. No, neither kid died. Yes, everyone had alot of fun. We finished up the night's events with an egg toss, The "I love you baby game", Charades, the "human knot" and some other events.

For the first time since 1993, the Cavs have won a playoff series. I think at about that time I was still going to Carylwood. I do remember the CAVS then- Price, Nance, Daugherty, Hot-Rod they had a great team. Drazen Petrovich and the Nets never stood a chance and I still remember going to the game when the CAVS knocked the Celtics out of the playoffs. Still, although I was still rooting hard for the CAVS, the Bulls were the team to beat. It was the heyday of Air Jordan and no one's star shone brighter in the NBA then Michael's. About 13 years later, the CAVS have the brightest star in the league. Like Madonna, Cher, and Elvis his name is one name- LeBron.

I'm not claiming that the CAVS are going to win the NBA Championship this year. They'll face Detriot in the next round of the playoffs and if the last three regular season games they've played against the Pistons are any indication of how things will go, it could be a tough series for Cleveland. But, with the CAVS finally learning how to win close, nail-biters against good teams my optimism is high.  LeBron is one-third man, one-third beast, one-third steaming locomotive. He's as unstoppable as anyone in the NBA.

Last night's game 6 versus the Wizards was the definition of an instant classic. There were so many great plays and players- many times making amazing play after play to try to help their team to victory. The Cavs were up in the best-of-7 series 3 games to 2. Washington had to win the game to keep their season alive and played with the lead for most of the game. The CAVS however played well too and kept pace. By the fourth quarter, it looked like the WIZ would win the game until the CAVS came racing back and claimed the lead. With seconds left in the game, the CAVS were winning by 3. Until Gilbert Arenas got the ball and shot it from near half-court to the surprise of Flip Murray who was supposed to be guarding him. Gilbert Arenas, who is one of the top players in his own right shot what should have been a long shot-a shot I would have needed a catapault to make- like he was shooting a free throw with confidence. Washington's home crowd erupted and the game when into overtime.

This is when the fun started.

In OT, 2 really amazing things happened. First with time running down and seconds again left on the clock, the CAVS turned the ball over. Down by 1, things weren't looking good for LeBron and Co. Gilbert Arenas was fouled. Being the Washington Wizard's star player, there'd be no one you'd want shooting foul shots for your team until- OOPS! He missed the first one. Then, something you never see happened. LeBron walked to Gilbert before he was going to shoot the second free throw and said something to him and patted him on the stomach. It wasn't clear what LeBron said but the way Arenas stuck out his lips and rolled his eyes he didn't like it. He probably didn't like the fact that he proceeded to miss the next free throw too. Reportedly, LeBron told Arenas that if he missed the next free throw he'd be going home.

So, the CAVS got the ball back and despite LeBron's trash talking, still were down by one. In a move openly and vocally questioned by yours truly, Cleveland's coach inserted Damon Jones into the game. Damon had come to the CAVS this season advertised as a sharpshooter with the hopes he'd be making all kinds of shots from behind the 3 point arc. He'd also been less than spectacular. In fact, he'd played very little all playoffs. So, after sitting on the bench all game, taking no warm-up shots, and wearing his stupid tights, Damon Jones came into the game. The way the CAVS' last play and last chance to win the game unfolded, Larry Hughes hit a wide open Jones with a pass and he swished a long two nothing but net. Amazing. Washington had no timeouts and raced down the court with a few seconds left. They missed the final shot and the CAVS won. Damon Jones was mobbed on the court by the whole team for winning the game. That's what you get for helping your team advance to the next round of the playoffs- a pile-on and a dry hump from LeBron.

Come on, this picture is just wrong. There's so many wrong captions I could give it. But, this is sports. Guys sweat together, slap each other on the butt alot, shower together, pull down each others shorts for laughs, and dry hump each other after big wins. It's not gay. It's basically the most manly thing you can do.

What can I say? I've got basketball on the brain. I can't tell you how much I enjoy having a good team to root for here in Cleveland. Growing up in the Mark Price era of the CAVS, they were always pretty good, but always outshined by the Bulls. What an amazing change it is for Cleveland to have the best player in basketball on their team! Unlike the days of "Air" Jordan, in my opinion there's really no team in the NBA that's so fantastically fantastic that they can run away with the championship. There's a few great teams, but the CAVS have beaten every good team in the NBA this year. Only Detriot seems to have the CAVS' number- they'd probably be my pick to win the NBA Title this year.

Earlier in the year I was beginning to think I was crazy. If you follow sports like I do, every year during the NBA season people start to talk about who the MVP of the NBA could be. I wondered who could be more worthy of MVP honors than LeBron. Now, I'm totally baised because I really like LeBron James. He plays for my hometown team. He's a great player who's unselfish, willing to pass the ball and seems to enjoy playing in Cleveland and playing basketball the "right" way. Knock on wood, you've never heard of him getting into trouble, being a jerk, or doing the things that superstar atheletes think they should be able to get away with. So far, aside from a little LeBron he created out of wedlock, big LeBron has been a model citizen, charitable, and even dresses sharpy on the bench when he's out with an injury. And at just 21, he's younger than me!

To me, there's only 3 reasonable candidates for league MVP. LeBron, Steve Nash, and Kobe Bryant. There's arguements for either of these 3 players to win, but I believe LeBron is the MVP. Kobe Bryant is a pretty awesome player. Experts say that he is the best player in the league, someone similar to Michael Jordan in mental toughness and scoring ability. Sure Kobe can score 81 points a game, as he showed earlier this year, but he just isn't the team player that Steve Nash and LeBron are. He doesn't seem to care about getting the rest of the Lakers involved in the game and is a "shoot first, pass second" kind of guy. He's leading the league in scoring, but LeBron is third in scoring right behind him. He doesn't pass or rebound like LeBron either.

Steve Nash is one of my favorite players. Often times, I'm not kidding on this one, I daydream about what it would be like if the CAVS had Steve Nash and he and LeBron played together. Let's just say it would be over if that ever happened. First of all, Steve Nash is the Great White Hope. He's about 6 foot tall playing in a league of anormous black men that if they stepped carelessly, would kill Steve Nash and only know about it when they lefted their foot and he was a puddle of human on the bottom of their shoe. I would just be impressed with Steve Nash if he were in the NBA riding some team's bench. But, he was last year's MVP, a superstar shooter and assist man that makes his whole team better by running around like a crazed elf with the ball.

But, Steve Nash is no where near the physically dominant force LeBron is rebounding and scoring the ball. If I had to pick one player to start a basketball team with, I'd pick LeBron James. He's one of five players EVER to average 30 points, 7 rebounds, and 6 assists. He's carried his team the whole year on his back doing whatever it took to help them win games. Many times he'd pass the ball to an open teammate at the end of the game to let them try the winning shot, only to seem happier for them than if he would have made it when they made it.

I'm looking forward to being amazed and having fun watching LeBron win MVP's and championships for years to come.

CAVS game Contest

Last Thursday, the CAVS played the New York Knicks. Eric, Andrew, Bryan and I went to the game because Eric and Andrew's dad got his company tickets for us again. In the fourth row. The Sweet Seats.

So, we went to the game a little early just to watch the teams shoot around beforehand and hang-out. It's pretty cool to get to see NBA players doing their thing so close and it makes me think how cool it would be to have the talent to play professional sports. By far, the coolest thing about being a pro athlete must have to be the fact that you get tons of free gear from your team. We're talking shoes, socks, t-shirts, sweatpants, etc. the good high-quality gear too.

But anyway, the notable part of the evening out at "the Q" was the contest I participated in. A girl who was working for the CAVS approached me and my group before the game and asked if I'd like to be in a contest on the court and I thought she said something about stripping off all my clothes and trying to make a basket. I thought that was a little crazy for me and no one else wanted to do it either. Eric, Andrew, and Bryan kepy trying to get me to do it. When I realized that the contest was a "Frozen T-Shirt Race" I decided to jump at this once in a lifetime chance.

The deal was at the second time out in the 3rd quarter I'd get to compete against another guy at half court. We'd both have to take off our shirts, unwrap these frozen t-shirts and put them on, then race down the court and make a basket.

I have to admit when I first signed up to do the contest, I got a little nervous. But as it approached, I got more and more confident. I just thought that I'd rip open that shirt and run down the court and the crowd would go wild. I have to say, I was even hoping for a LeBron James high-five.

So, the game started and we picked the first game LeBron missed ALL season to go to. He didn't even dress for the game, but it was still cool to go. The CAVS do this cool thing for player introductions where they bust out these towers that shoot flames high into the air. It's pretty intense and somehow reminded me of Gladiator- all these people getting fired up for a contest between two teams in an arena.

The CAVS ended up finally taking charge and taking the game from the lowly Knicks. The game got exciting near the end and Flip Murray hit a big shot to help the hometeam win the game.

The real action came in the third quarter though when Don and I faced off, head-to-head in a Frozen T-Shirt contest to remember. Don was an unitimidating older black guy, but he still looked like he'd give me some pretty good competition. The prize we were competing for was a gift certificate to the hard-rock cafe.

The "host" type chick that was doing the announcements and stuff from the crowd escorted us onto the court and announced us and the contest began. It was over so quick, I didn't have any time to be nervous or realize that I was in front of 20,000 people.

She said go. I busted my shirt off and by all accounts, I was in the lead as I ripped open the frozen block of shirt to try to get it over my head. I'd given it some thought and decided to go with a "homerun" strategy. Once I got the bottom of the shirt open, I'd jam my head through the bottom hole and hopefully it'd just pop out of the top and I'd grab the ball, make the basket and the celebration would begin.

All did not go according to plan, however. As I threw that ice cold shirt into my head the crowd started to cheer louder, signifying that I was in the lead and making a strong move to win this thing. With Callous disregard for the safety of my face, I jammed my head into the white abyss that was the inside of the t-shirt. Sadly, the next time my head would be out of the shirt, I would look up to see Don making the winning basket.

In my haste to get the shirt on, I jammed my head into a sleeve hole! The Announcer chick was like,"wrong hole Joe!" But it was too late. My head got stuck long enough for Don to win. He did the contest fast, but I have to believe that I would have been able to win of my head didn't go into a sleeve. So there I am at mid-court of "the Q" with my shirt half-off and my head stuck in a frozen sleeve and LeBron and Co. looked on. Midly embarrassing.

But, hey. Who gets the chance to do something like that? I had to try it and I'm glad I did. I was a little disappointed that I didn't win, but maybe I'm just not as good at putting on frozen shirts as I thought.

 

Carrying the torch on down the path forged by such Trailblazers as the nintendo duck hunt gun, the power glove, the nintendo running pad, and the super scope 6- I got a chance to play a game called Guitar Hero this weekend.

 

On Saturday night, Amy Virostko came over and brought the game, which comes with a guitar that you use to play the game and that hooks up to the playstation 2. I guess the game is similar to dance dance revolution. You hold the guitar and you press the right color button and strum when the color comes down the fret board on the screen. If you do it at the right time, the song plays correctly, the crowd goes crazy, and most importantly your rock meter goes up. If you do it wrong, it makes a horrible "bad guitar" sound, the crowd starts the boo, and you risk getting kicked off the stage.

So, Amy and I went to Bottles 101 and got some beers we'd never heard of or tried before. We popped the game in and Andrew, Eric, Andie, Mitch, Jake, Bryan, me, and Amy played the thing. It was alot of fun cheering people on and rocking to the songs. The game actually had alot of popular classic rock songs and some newer ones you could play. I played Boston's "More than a feeling" and Blue Oster Cult's "Godzilla".

So we all stayed up late and played this guitar even though the clocks got moved forward an hour. We were up so late that the people vacationing in Florida who came home at 5am got to see us all reved up. Their sunburned, scruffy faces and sourpuss expressions seemed to indicate they were ready to climb into bed. 

What's with the "you look like" game people play when they meet people for the first time? You know the game I'm talking about. You meet your girlfriend's co-worker for the first time and he or she says you look like that guy from that show. Or the girl at the store says you look like her cousin. The "look a like" game is a strange phenomenon that goes on everyday. You might say someone looks like someone to complement them and they take it as an insult. You may say someone looks like someone famous to make fun of them.

I've been getting alot of you look likes lately. It's funny, but since I cut my hair I'm not getting you look like -insert the name of long haired rock star. That's right- when I had long hair I'd get just about any long haired rock star. I got the guy from "The Used", the guy from "AFI", etc. The guy I work with at Budweiser apparently has been stopped on the street numerous times for people wanting his autograph because they thought he was Sean Penn. I don't think he looks at all like Sean Penn.

Now that I've gone clean cut again, I get two movie stars - Toby Macquire (star of Spiderman) and Jake Gyllenhaal (Donnie Darko and Brokeback Mountain). Jake Gyllenhaal seems to come up the most, maybe because he's been getting alot of publicity since he turned gay cowboy. I guess these names are complementary and they are certainly better than when the older guys on the track team used to call me Pee-Wee Herman. Although I think you can chalk that one up to that fact that according to most black people all white dudes look like pee-wee Herman.

The funniest I've ever gotten is from Amy Virostko who swears I look just like Eddie Money from the cover of his self titled album.

So, then I discovered this site, myheritage.com. You can upload a photo of yourself and it then matches your face to a celebrity database of faces and tells you who you most resemble. My closest match was Daniel Day Lewis. The next was Ian Somerhalder, followed by Ben Affleck. Now, I've never thought I looked like Ben Affleck. The next matches were Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin, Heath Ledger, and Patrick Swayze.

Wait. I just put in another picture of myself and this one I have a serious face. I resemble P. Diddy closest with this face. Followed by Scarlett Johanson?!?! Then Ethan Hawke and Josh Hartnett.

Whew. I'm happy with how I look. I'm glad I look like...ME.

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